Thank goodness we’ve all learned our lessons about soy already, but did you know that there’s another hidden terror lurking on grocery store shelves? The avocado is an evil fruit of the devil meant to tempt innocent Christians to partake of uninhibited sexual relations!
What’s so wrong about a nice fatty avocado you say? Don’t try to sway me with claims that the avocado is full of beta carotene, potassium, and “good” unsaturated fats; that’s just the devil trying to decieve you. Why, even the ancient Aztec word for the avocado plant means “testicle tree”. That dreaded left-wing media even tried to cover up the filthy avocado in the 20′s with an “advertising campaign” denying that the avocado had aphridosiac powers. If that isn’t enough to convince you to avoid this bumpy-skinned poison, maybe this detailed flow chart will bring the light to your eyes.
In closing, avocados are for godless perverts. If you’re alright with the idea of spending an eternity burning in a lake of fire, try my guacamole recipe.
waistloss said,
January 22, 2007 @ 9:13 pm
Now that was funny! I am such a heathen!!
Jenny Ryan said,
January 23, 2007 @ 4:10 pm
Why, even the ancient Aztec word for the avocado plant means “testicle tree”.
That is just awesome!!